On Turning Ten
The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I'm coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light--
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.
You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.
But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.
This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.
It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.
--Billy Collins
Lots more of his poems are on the web.
Posted by Vernam at May 26, 2003 07:43 PM
He had a good day, as it turned out. Rather than the obligatory cattle-call party where upwards of a dozen kids come bearing gifts in exchange for cardboard pizza and goodie bags, Michael had a few good friends sleep over. Today he said, "Dad, I kind of liked this better than my old birthdays, with all those presents." Cute kid -- it almost sounded convincing! I didn't share the poem with him, btw. Reality intrudes well enough without help from me.
Posted by: Vernam at May 27, 2003 11:22 PMHappy birthday to your son! I remember being really excited about hitting the "double digit" - too funny. 10 was a pretty kick-ass age, as I remember it; I hope the same for him!
Posted by: amy at May 27, 2003 11:03 PMYou sparked a memory of me asking my folks at the dinner table,
'am I a teenager now?'
"no, not for a few more years."
'so what am I? I'm not a kid anymore, right?'
"yes and no."
It's been a long time since I thought about this, but yeah, it is an interesting early-life crisis phase, isn't it? But oh, to be one-oh again! Hope he had a great weekend!