"Don't squash her over your chest!"
Dancing classes in English in the grand palace of Prince Apraksin, conducted by young and talented dancers of St Petersburg, is something you might never have expected to happen.
But it has happened -- last week the first session took place in the Dancing Hall of the palace, which is now occupied by the city's Sports Committee.
Dark marble Corinthian columns, golden decorations, stucco bas reliefs, rococo leaves and virgin angels, who years ago admired dancing courtiers, witnessed the first awkward movements of a bunch of beginners. I was one of them.
On seeing the graceful dancing of teachers Zhanna Kazakova and Arthur Kondrakov, I immediately thought how embarrassing it would be when I tried to imitate these fantastic movements.
But the couple managed to create a really friendly atmosphere, personally helping those in need -- and making it fun.
Impressed with the beauty of the dances and inspired by the luxurious surroundings and music that deafened our heavy steps and loud breathing, we started -- and did not even notice when the two hours were finished.
The Brother Louis, samba, Vienna waltz and Solo Rock were our first dances. The rhumba, cha-cha, jive, paso doble, slow waltz, foxtrot, quick-step, rock-n-roll, rap, hip-hop, and step are still waiting to be conquered.
Before I came to this class, I thought I knew how to dance the waltz. Now I realize how deeply I deceived myself.
"Stand in diagonal, face window, feet in three lines, step aside making one step short and one -- long, keep the partner close, but don't squash her over your chest!" -- these were the main principles of the waltz for us.
Arthur, the tutor, is an experienced dancer, belonging to the leading dancing clubs of St Petersburg.
He graduated from St Petersburg State University's Oriental studies faculty, where English was one of the main languages. Now he is a senior officer for marketing and publicity in the city's sports committee.
Zhanna Kazakova is even more experienced, having studied ballroom dancing for more than 10 years as well as figure skating, rhythmic gymnastics and ballet dancing.
According to the native English speakers in the class, Arthur's English is perfectly acceptable, though sometimes funny.
So if you get a command like "Change your weight on every count," he does not really mean that, but rather that you have to transfer your weight from one leg to the other.
Arthur is enthusiastic about the future performances of his pupils. "Soon you will not be able even to open a door in your habitual way," he promised the students. "You will gently treat it like your partner.
"Your business and personal life depends on how you jive," rhymed Arthur, who writes poems in both English and Russian. Soon a book with his English-language verses will be published in London.
But dancing is his main love. "Life gives stresses, and dancing is one of the ways to enlarge your abilities to react to stresses.
"It affects your vertebral column -- your bearing will become better," he said and added that, although he was 26, in the past three years he has become three centimeters (more than an inch) taller.
"Dancing is very useful, especially for those who sit a lot, and especially Latin American dances, where you move your pelvis all the time."
He thinks classes he started last week will also add to the opportunities of the foreign community of the city to meet each other and bring foreigners and English-speaking St Petersburgers closer together in an informal and relaxed situation.
In the future, Arthur plans to arrange parties, where all lovers of ballroom dancing of the city will be welcome.