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Just lean back and enjoy the excitement of one of St Petersburg's wildest sports.
The thrill of water-skiing
By Sarah Hurst
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Naturally, there will be awkward moments as you fumble with your equipment, and at times you will certainly end up in unusual positions. Even so, the thrill of your first ride will make you want to do it again and again. It gets better every time.
After two sessions of fifteen minutes each, the St Petersburg Water-skiing Club guarantees you will have learnt enough to ski confidently across Pervoye Suzdolskoye lake. If you ski every day for a year you can become a professional.
Start with two skis, then change to one for extra speed and versatility, and once you've mastered all that you can try barefoot skiing. To water-ski as a hobby, however, requires no more than a swimming costume and that most elusive factor, warm weather.
The club -- affiliated to the Leningrad Naval Base -- supplies the boat, instructors, skis, life jacket and wetsuit for a 15-minute thrill at 50,000 roubles ($11.35).
The lake is located in the tranquil countryside only a couple of minutes from the concrete suburbs of St Petersburg and the Ozerki Metro. Previously, water-skiers had to go to outlying towns such as Zelyenogorsk, but they were repeatedly evicted because babushkas (elderly women) complained about the noise. Now the club has special permission to use the city lake from the Vyborg district administration.
The water is clean and the sport is ecologically friendly. It is also "completely safe", according to Andrei Smirnoff, one of the club's many serious competitive skiers.
"The only danger is if you can't swim or try and go too fast for your ability," he assured me as he prepared to drag me through the water at 30mph (48km/h).
Being completely clumsy and uncoordinated put me at no risk at all, as there was little chance of my staying attached to the skis or the boat for more than ten seconds, and leaning back is easier said than done when a 200hp motorboat is pulling you forward at the end of a rope.
Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards, the accident-prone British ski jumper who broke every bone in his body, would have been proud of me. The tanned athletes of the St Petersburg Water-skiing Club were rather less impressed. Still, I was much happier to go head-over-heels a few times in a lake than I would have been on a mountain.
It was 7pm but the water was warm and we managed to avoid the rainstorm which began a little later.
"You have to be a fanatic to water-ski in St Petersburg," says candidate fanatic Yuri Guzeyev. "I am not as bad as some of the others. They start in April, while there are still no leaves on the trees, and ski until the end of October."
The club has about 20 members, most of whom have been skiing since childhood. Russian women are especially renowned for their water-skiing abilities -- one was world champion recently -- and at Suzdolskoye they demonstrated the grace and finesse that can be achieved with practice.
Slicing the smooth curves of the slalom on one ski at the maximum speed of 58mph (92km/h), they continued to ski effortlessly to the shore even after they let go of the handlebar.
When it really is freezing they simply move over to the Spartak Swimming Pool near Kirov Park, where there is an electric water-ski training machine. Russia is the only country in the world where you can water-ski indoors.
During the Soviet era the government invested huge amounts of money in sport and St Petersburg had three professional teams. Now the club wants to become independent of the naval base and fund itself through fees.
"Sport in this country is dying because all the money is being spent on the war in Chechnya," says Mr Guzeyev. "That's why we want individuals or groups to come here and pay to water-ski. If more people become keen on the sport then they would bring their children and new champions would grow up."
The youngest water-skiers may be only seven years old.
Apart from slalom, the other disciplines are tricks and jumping. Jumping is not possible at Suzdolskoye because there are no ramps.
Competent slalom skiers gradually increase their speed and shorten the rope from 18 metres to 16, 14 and 13, until it is shorter than the width of the course. Slalom is the most popular form of water-skiing because jumping is more dangerous and tricks require much more experience.
In August four members of the club will go to Moscow to compete in the Russian Championship. The best skiers from the club have also performed in shows such as the opening of the Goodwill Games last year. Andrei Smirnoff was a water-skiing stuntman in a Russian film called "How to Become a Star."
The club's financial problems are its greatest concern, although it was dealt an additional setback a year before the Goodwill Games while the channel into the lake was reconstructed, making it impossible to ski.
Yuri Guzeyev thinks that the club's fortunes will be revived by encouraging companies to organize weekend excursions for their employees. Someone from the club will meet you and take you to the lake, which is within walking distance of Metro station Ozerki.
The water-skiers admit that theirs is an exclusive sport and that taking it up seriously is an expensive business. In addition to buying skis and wetsuit, the petrol for the boat has to be paid for.
Yuri Guzeyev works as a sales engineer for a Finnish company and Andrei Smirnoff sells water-skiing equipment. The days when sportsmen were guaranteed an income by the state are long gone.
They will not be deterred, however. I have a sneaking suspicion that for the fanatics -- water-skiing really is better than sex!