You are coming out of the Hermitage with mixed feelings of apprehension. You have been overcharged for the entry just because you are not Russian. With the exception of a negligible fraction, you've failed to see the whole empire of the museum's collections you had dreamed of before coming to St Petersburg.
You are tired and hungry and so you need a place to relieve your tension.
You might not know that just nearby there is a place where you could dine well and forget all the day-long troubles with quite a small amount of money.
What you need is just a bit of interest in St Petersburg history and culture and a cool breeze from the Bolshaya Neva to have fun at the expensive-looking Marine Club's restaurant. It's a place where you can talk business and God knows what else. It's no exaggeration to believe that such settings have often proved birthplaces for some constructive ideas.
Located in the former building of the Imperial Ministry of the Navy, on the Admiralteisky embankment just a few meters from the Hermitage and Palace Square, the restaurant provides a sound excuse for anyone needing to enjoy a St Petersburg evening.
About 100,000 roubles ($20) is the maximum amount one can spend for a three-course meal and beverages. It's a price that is considered quite outdated in most of the city center's restaurants.
However, one must be observant to locate the restaurant, though it's neither too small to notice nor too hidden to find. This is because the "Marine Club Restaurant" or "Restoran Morskoy Klub" sign that one might expect is conspicuously absent. Instead, a small "Holstein" sign tells you are at the right place.
Calling there is not recommended even if you manage to locate the telephone number in the St Petersburg "Yellow Pages." The restaurant's owner says they still don't have a telephone, even though they have been operating since 1993.
I had a feeling that they might be operating illegally or trying to cover up from mafiosi "tax collectors" when they told me, "We simply don't have a telephone, and we put a sign up (Marine Club Restaurant) once, but we removed it for certain reasons."
I did not bother to ask further questions, as I was taken away by the delicious "Morskoy" (marine) soup which I ordered for 25,000 roubles. This was one of the three items in the so-called "firm dishes" menu.
The other two items included "Admiral's hors d'oeuvre," which cost 29,000 roubles, and "Fish according to the Admiral's recipe," which, at 42,000 roubles, is one of the most expensive on the menu.
Of the cold dishes I chose "seasonal salad" at 12,000 roubles. It is a plate full of sliced cucumbers, sliced tomatoes, cabbage and minor spices.
For the second course, I would have ordered "Cheese" schnitzel at 33,000 roubles had it not been a bit too much for a small-bellied guy like myself. It was a mixture of beef and cheese, mashed potatoes, beetroot and vines.
For the main dish, I went for "Remalat"-- red salmon with sausage -- along with the Admiral's fish one of the most expensive dishes, at 42,000 roubles.
If my message has reached you, and perhaps for sheer curiosity you decide to pop in to the Marine Club, you will also find varieties of beverages ranging from simple lemon juice at 4,000 roubles and coffee at 5,500 roubles to "Smirnoff" vodka at 4,000 roubles for 50 grams and wine at 6,000 roubles for 100 grams.
But there is no cognac to be had at the restaurant, and Holstein is the only type of beer available.
Fruit salad and ice cream, costing 6,000 and 8,000 roubles respectively, are the only desserts.
Those who are particular about waiters' attire may be dismayed, as our waiter (the only one there) was dressed in a rather dirty pair of jeans. But don't let that spoil your appetite -- at least, we didn't mind as long as he didn't bother us for a tip.
If you can't read Cyrillic, the menu could prove challenging, although it can be "transliterated" on request.